random thoughts, 5

So I was in my literature class today (the one I fucking hate). We were told to give our opinion on whatever we were supposed to read for today. Part of the story had to do with the Crusades. One of my classmates stated that she loved the story because if God clearly told these guys to fight the Muslims then so be it and that’s why people in third world countries were poor because they don’t want to accept God. I WANTED TO THROW MY WORK BINDER AT HER. yes, some opinions are wrong

Thanks to friends and reasons I guess, I’m not so sad anymore. I mean, well, I’m still broke and I still have a flat tire and I have to hope upon hope that the spare tire lasts till payday next week. But after much reflecting, I convinced myself for the umpteenth time that no, not everything is my fault. I might instigate, but as I full well know, blame is never something placed on one person. So I might be alone for the weekend and I might’ve felt bad, but things are still okay in life. And anyway, the week’s only almost half way done. A lot of things can happen.

And yes, The Plan failed, and instead of trying again, I’m just dismantling it. Not because it wouldn’t work another day, rather because there are other things going on that basically means that The Plan would work better another time.

Valentine’s Day, then, wasn’t that bad. But it’s hard not to get a little, I dunno, weird, seeing people you know have a great time of it. I’m glad for them, but I was kind of hoping for a better day, even though I don’t celebrate it. Of course, this beats a hospital, so I’ll take what I can get. Baby steps, you know.

So, Bruce, Maire and Lee - thanks. You guys deserve ice cream. But two of you are too far away and I don’t have money for the other person. So another time.