It’s difficult to say because the year’s barely started…
But I can feel it’s different. In a good way. I think this might really be the year things will take off for me. Now, it’s not because I’m just getting good vibes, but because I can see a big shift in my attitude. It’s not just about wanting something better for myself now; I’m actually thinking and trying to move the pieces towards something better.
That’s why I let Cosmo convince my to try writing for Cracked, because who knows? It could be weeks or months before I can pitch a good article idea to them, and I don’t care. I’ve finally got a reason to actively write. Tomorrow I’m going to dedicate some of the morning to more writing and graphic artistry, because after my little work last week, I realized that I hadn’t forgotten any of my tricks on Photoshop and I can still make something as good as I did six years ago.
It doesn’t matter to me anymore that I haven’t found a decent job or that I’m working at this not that great job. I’ve got other goals I want to move forward. This job, or a job, isn’t the focus of my life anymore; it doesn’t define me. It’s just something I now see to pay my bills and save money for the bigger goal I have set in life: law school. Because I have a reason for sticking it out at my job until a different job comes by or the VA benefits get approved, to try my damndest to save money so I can have a small stash when law school comes to shove.
This is nice. This is different. I can actually feel a shift in things now, despite nothing actually quite happening yet. But I think it’s good. 2012 may seem to be the harbinger of disaster for some people, and yet it certainly doesn’t feel that way. I really think things will be different this year.